So who am I and why do I do couples work? I am occasionally asked this, and the best answer I can give is that I firmly believe in everyone’s potential. Now that sounds boring, so let me give you something more accurate.
I think you can have it all. It’s just that we get in the way of ourselves and our partners, and this ends up being the single most flaw that I absolutely love helping couples work through.
Over 20 years ago, I became a therapist after taking a single course of calculus-based physics in undergraduate and realizing that I could do the formulas, but I did not understand them. And I like understanding things, so I found myself in the world of counseling.
Which is not far from the tree that the apples fall. My wife is a therapist, my father is a retired psychologist, one sister is a psychologist and the other a Marriage & Family Therapist. My third sister is also quite brilliant with insights of her own. So I’ve briefed the air of psychology growing up, so to speak. So I’ve breathed the air of psychology growing up, so to speak.
I began working in case management on the hilltop area in Tacoma, Washington, and learned so much in such unusual circumstances that it changed how I view how we help people. Everyone has great potential and sometimes only needs a little assist. Other times it can be more involved. But the common factor is that everybody firmly believes that they are trying to do their best and they genuinely do just that. But they would often like help.
I ended up working for an agency about five years after that where I was asked to do things that I would not be comfortable doing and certainly would be frowned upon today. Wave at case management clients on the street and build the state for 15 minutes? Do an intake on a family who is suffering because their daughter is developing schizophrenia and fill out a 45-page intake form rather than help them process the trauma of what’s happening?
So I quit.
Without knowing what I was going to do, on a lark, I decided to work for a year serving coffee at Seattle’s Best Coffee and go into a ton of credit card debt. Ah, youth.
And then I spent some time working in technology. Got in on the ground floor providing help with Windows 95. That’s how long ago this was. And I did that for a little while.
I ended up in Oregon working at the university as a network manager. And it was great. And it solved the biggest question that I had back in the day: Who the hell wants to see a 25-year-old therapist with little to no experience? But in my mid-30s? That was no longer an issue, and I felt the call to come back.
Life throws in loops and it throws lemons.
I ended up working with individuals and couples quite often on relationship issues. And through the trials of my own former marriage, I coincidentally found myself learning about the Gottman method. And everything about it made sense. It helped me become a better person and understand what is needed in a successful partnership.
Since then I’ve become a Certified Gottman Therapist, remarried, and chosen a field of therapy specific to couples that I feel can change everything. It’s made my life incredibly meaningful, and I absolutely love that. I have a wife where we both want the best for each other even when it’s hard to hear each other at times. And we never ever mistreat each other and we always rapidly repair.
By the way, that’s the secret in a nutshell. But I’ll help you with more details after that.
And how do I work? I’m just basically your friendly neighborhood auto mechanic. You don’t need to know how the spark plugs work in order to fix your car. You just wanted to be fixed. But I will require you to do maintenance so that you don’t have to keep bringing your car into the shop.
If I can be an asset to you, I’d love to meet you.
My Approach to Therapy
I don’t believe in endless processing or open-ended therapy where you talk about the same problems for years without measurable progress. I believe in identifying what’s broken, understanding why it’s broken, and teaching you concrete tools to fix it. Most relationship problems aren’t mysteries. They’re patterns that can be understood and changed with the right approach.
My work has been shaped by the compassion of Carl Rogers, the cognitive-behavioral precision of Aaron Beck, and the wisdom of Pema Chödrön. Whether you’re coming in alone or as a couple, my job is to help you see your patterns clearly, understand the mechanics driving them, and build the specific skills that create different outcomes.
I’ll meet you where you are, but I won’t let you stay stuck there.
My Core Beliefs About Relationships and Change
- Honesty matters more than comfort. I’ll tell you what I observe, even when it’s difficult to hear, because sugar-coating problems doesn’t solve them.
- Structure accelerates progress. Clear frameworks, specific skills, and measurable goals produce better outcomes than unstructured processing.
- Compassion and accountability aren’t opposites. I can hold space for your pain while simultaneously challenging you to take responsibility for your part in creating it.
- Most relationship problems can be solved. They’re not mysterious or unfixable. They’re patterns maintained by specific behaviors that can be identified and changed with the right approach.
- You don’t need years of therapy. You need the right tools, consistent practice, and someone who won’t let you avoid the work.
When We Work Together
Whether you’re coming in as a couple or individually, here’s what you can expect:
- Direct feedback. I’ll tell you what I observe in your patterns, even when it’s uncomfortable. You deserve honesty, not passive agreement.
- Structured sessions. Each session has purpose and builds toward specific goals. We’re not just talking. We’re working.
- Concrete skills. You’ll leave with specific techniques you can practice immediately, not vague suggestions to “communicate better.”
- Accountability. I’ll hold you to what you commit to between sessions. Progress requires follow-through, and I’ll call you out when you’re avoiding the work.
- Respect for your time and investment. Therapy is expensive. I take that seriously. My goal is to help you see measurable progress as efficiently as possible.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Certified Gottman Therapist and how is it different from a therapist who has taken Gottman training?
Certified Gottman Therapist is the Gottman Institute’s terminal designation, awarded only after completing all training levels, an extensive post-training consultation process, and passing a structured video review of actual clinical sessions. It is not a training course or workshop completion. Fewer than 500 clinicians worldwide hold this certification. Therapists who have completed Level 1, 2, or 3 training are not permitted to call themselves Certified Gottman Therapists.
Is David Lechnyr one of the highest-credentialed Gottman therapists available via telehealth?
Yes. David holds Certified Gottman Therapist designation #436, the Gottman Institute’s highest credential. The majority of therapists who use the Gottman Method have completed training courses but have not completed the full certification process.
I’m in Arizona and can’t find a Gottman-certified therapist locally. Can David work with me?
Yes. David is licensed in Arizona and provides telehealth throughout the state, including Phoenix, Scottsdale, Mesa, Tempe, and Gilbert. All sessions are conducted via secure video. Arizona residents have the same access to his full range of services as Oregon residents.
What makes David Lechnyr’s approach different from standard couples therapy?
The work is structured around a defined skill sequence rather than open-ended weekly processing. Couples complete structured exercises between sessions. David reviews responses before each session. Sessions focus on assessing whether a skill has been absorbed and whether the couple is ready to advance, not on recapping the week’s events. Progress accumulates toward a measurable endpoint rather than continuing indefinitely.
Has David Lechnyr worked with couples who have already tried therapy without success?
Yes, this is a common entry point. Many clients come after working with multiple therapists and leaving without usable tools. The structured, skills-based model is specifically designed for couples who understand their patterns intellectually but have not been able to shift them through traditional talk therapy.
What is David Lechnyr’s background and how long has he been in practice?
David returned to full-time clinical practice in 2013 and has practiced couples therapy exclusively since then. He first earned his Oregon LCSW in 2007, and his clinical career began in 1992 in front-line crisis response work. He holds a Master’s degree in Social Work from Walla Walla University, is a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers (ACSW), and utilizes Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy (CBCT) in addition to his Gottman certification.
Does David Lechnyr offer relationship help to clients outside Oregon and Arizona?
Yes. Licensed therapy is available to Oregon and Arizona residents only. For clients outside those states, relationship coaching is available worldwide via secure video. The difference is not just the label. Therapy addresses mental health and relational issues within a clinical context: Healing, understanding, and working through personal history. Relationship coaching is educational and skill-building in nature: Identifying how current patterns are impacting the relationship and developing specific strategies to change them.
Ready to Start?
If you’re looking for a therapist who will challenge you, teach you concrete skills, and help you create actual change rather than just process feelings indefinitely, we’re likely a good fit. Let’s get started today.