Adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) often exhibit extreme loyalty, even when faced with evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. This unwavering commitment to others, particularly to their alcoholic parent or dysfunctional family members, is rooted in fear and insecurity. ACOAs may believe that by being exceptionally loyal, they can earn the love and approval they desperately seek, hoping to change their loved ones for the better.
Codependency
Over-Developed Sense of Responsibility in Adult Children of Alcoholics
If you grew up in a home with an alcoholic parent, you may have become the person who managed the emotional climate, anticipated conflict before it started, and felt responsible for keeping things calm. That was not a character trait. It was a survival strategy. This article explains how over-developed responsibility develops in childhood, what it looks like in adult professional and personal life, and why it tends to exhaust the people around you while also making genuine intimacy harder to sustain.
Trust Problems in Dysfunctional Families
Why do some adults have more struggles in life than others? Many times it relates to how dysfunction “entered” their childhood family. Such problems can arise from abuse, neglect, psychological abuse, immature parents, secrets in the family that impact others or an overwhelming sense of insecurity in the home environment. Understanding a few things might help in clarifying this tricky situation.
“Dry Drunk” Behaviors
Addiction of any type is a serious problem. However, effective treatment requires more than “just stopping” the use of drugs or alcohol. The reality is that when someone “just stops” their addiction, many of the behaviors that “got them into trouble” are “still active.” This “dry drunk” lifestyle is still addictive, even though they may have stopped drinking or using drugs. They are addicted to activities and avoiding real intimacy in their relationships by being unavailable to their partner and the family.
The Danger of Enmeshed Families
Therapists have long been concerned with helping families develop healthy ways of caring and relating to one another. After all, it’s important that we care for others and are connected to them for healthy growth. However, there are certain types of “caring” that can interfere with healthy growth patterns for all members of the family.