Certified Gottman Therapist
By the time a marriage is in real trouble, both partners usually have a private theory about why. One of you has quietly concluded that the two of you are just too different. The other suspects it traces back to something that happened years ago and never got repaired. Neither theory came from nowhere. They … Read more
If your partner is upset at you and you react, you might be right. You’ve got every right to be upset. However, imagine you’ve got a child. They fall off their bicycle and they scream bloody murder, and you run up to them and they say, “Kill all the bicycles. Bikes are evil. Kill the … Read more
Childhood wounds affect your relationship in this way: Imagine you grew up being uber controlled. Your parents had a say in everything. You weren’t even allowed to have friends, so much so that your best friend was an AM radio. You were a latchkey kid, and you were essentially controlled in every aspect of your … Read more
What Is Accepting Influence in Relationships? Accepting influence means finding common ground with your partner and saying yes to their ideas, even when you only agree with part of what they’re saying. The Gottman Institute’s research reveals a counterintuitive truth: To hold genuine power in a relationship, you must be willing to share that power. … Read more
Three hours. That’s how long Sarah found herself trapped in the same argument with her husband on a Tuesday night. She’d launched into explaining her frustration about their weekend plans, and somehow they’d spiraled into every unresolved issue from the past six months. By the time they finally stopped talking, she was hoarse from explaining … Read more